Faith
by Damaged Danzy
Summary: Bobby is dying. Dean is having a breakdown. Sam is just trying to keep everything sane.  Implied Destiel


Dean felt the weight of the world on his shoulders. He was honestly surprised that his knees hadn't buckled down from the pressure to make his legs collapse. If it was up to him, he would by lying on the hospital floor wishing to be anywhere but there.

Sam and Dean were currently standing in the middle of a hospital hall watching their world fall apart right before their very eyes. Half a dozen nurses and doctors whizzed past them and into the room where Bobby laid unconscious, fighting for his life.

Both men were speechless. Neither wanted to say what the other was thinking. After a few moments of agonizing silence, Dean finally broke the tension and quietness. He loudly cleared this throat. "This is too fucking much to handle Sam. We don't deserve this. Bobby sure as hell doesn't. I'd give anything to be in his place right now."

Sam grimaced. He didn't know what to say. Nothing would make their situation any better. "Dean, just have some faith."

"Faith, faith? Where the hell has that got us? Nowhere! It's made things worse actually. Face it Sam. We lost Cas and no we're about to lose Bobby. There's no light at the end of this tunnel."

Sam didn't want to have this argument in the middle of a hospital. "Dean, we just can't stand here and fight. Let's go to the waiting room or something."

"Are you stupid? I'm not leaving Bobby. He's damn well pretty much our father and the only person we have left that we love. I'm not taking a chance. You know what happened five years ago when we left dad alone in the hospital. He went and sold his damn soul for me and now he's dead! All because of me Sammy. You can leave if you want to, but I'm staying," Dean finished hotly.

"You don't think I love Bobby too? Well you're not the only one," Sam said while trying to keep a calm tone. He knew that any second his brother was going to have a breakdown. He felt like he was walking on broken glass. Sam closed his eyes. As soon as he opened them, he let out a cry.

Dean was standing there with tears just pouring from his eyes. He wasn't even trying to cover them up. "I can't do this anymore Sammy. Everything is my fault and I'm going to have to pay for my sins sooner or later."

Sam was going to reply, but his voice got stuck in his throat when he saw what Dean was doing.

Dean was reaching in his coat pocket for the gun he always kept there. He locked eyes with Sam. "I love you so much Sammy. I'm sorry that it had to come down to this. Just don't be like me Sammy. You're strong and I know you'll make it through this." Tears continued pouring from his eyes as he put the gun next to his right temple. "Close your eyes Sam; I don't want you to see this."

"Noooo!" Sam screamed out. In a blur, he reached out and kneed Dean in the crotch. Dean instantly fell over from the pain and Sam took the brief opportunity to pick the gun up and stuff it in his pocket. "You are the stupidest dick ever, Dean!" Sam said through tears. "Bobby's dying and all you're doing is thinking about yourself."

Dean just lay in a pathetic heap on the floor. Miraculously, like a twist of fate, no one had noticed their tantrum. Almost like no one would have stopped Dean from blowing his brains out.

Sam picked Dean up from the floor, ignoring Dean's comments to leave him alone. Sam stood him up and they slowly made their way outside back to the Impala. Sam shoved Dean in the backseat and slammed the door. From the outside, Sam locked the door.

"I'm sorry Dean, but this is for you own good!" Sam just wanted his brother to be safe. When Dean calmed down and came to his senses, he would remember that there was a spare key underneath the driver's seat. It tore Sam apart to see his brother in such a vulnerable and sad sate. He turned his back to the car and began walking back to the hospital. He ignored Dean's frantic calls as much as it killed him inside. Sam braced himself and went back inside the hospital.

Sobbing helplessly to himself, Dean laid down in the backseat. As much as he wanted to hate Sam, he knew that his brother had his best intentions in mind. Trying to calm down, Dean took a deep breath and fumbled around the car floor. He quickly pulled the key up and unlocked himself out. He stopped out and looked at the huge hospital building. He knew he wasn't ready to go back in. Instead, Dean walked to the trunk and popped it open. He instantly found the trench coat and softly grabbed it. He closed the trunk and climbed back into the backseat. He draped the trench coat across his chest and rested his head against the car window.

Before Dean knew it, he had fallen into a troublesome slumber.

Sam looked in the window and saw his brother wrapped in Cas' old coat. He almost wanted to smile, but now was not the time to. Instead, he rapped window causing Dean to slowly wake up. Dean saw the look on his brother's face and it instantly hit him.

Bobby had died.

Gulping, Dean reached over and opened the door allowing Sam to come in the car. "Don't sugarcoat it," Dean said quietly.

Sam didn't. "Bobby just passed away. Two fatal gunshots; one to his head and the other in his chest. They tried so hard Dean," Sam said while tears fell into his lap. "But nothing worked."

Dean merely nodded his head. He felt more pain right now than he had when his dad died. His fingers curled around the coat in his lap and he balled up his fists.

Sam already had his fingers on the door handle. "I just wanted to tell you the minute it happened. The receptionists asked me if we were his family and I lied and said that we were his sons."

"We are his sons."

Sam nodded his head, mutually agreeing. "I'm about to go back in. Do you want to come now or what awhile?"

"I'll wait," Dean replied while hiccupping.

"I love you Dean," Sam said while he opened the door and walked back out.

Dean watched his brother go back in the building. As much as he wanted to go with Sam, Dean just couldn't the emotional distress. He sat in silence for a few minutes before he felt like the deafness was mocking him. Dean quickly snatched the coat in one hand and used the other to turn the door handle and walk out. He stepped on the asphalt and began walking towards the bench that was in the secluded smoker's spot. He plopped down on the cold steep and before he knew it, Dean had closed his eyes and was muttering a prayer.

"Cas, I know that this is totally pointless, but I have to say this. It's the only way I'll ever feel at peace with myself. It's worth a shot anyway.

You know Bobby just died? It still hasn't sunk in. I know that you're not in heaven anymore, but please just let there be a spot for him up there. He deserves it more than anybody. Cas, please.

It would mean everything to me."

Dean was shaking by the time he finished speaking. He felt a little foolish, but he felt more at ease with himself. Just as he began to stand up, Dean heard the hospital front doors being swung open.

Sam came running to Dean. His green eyes were glistening and he could hardly control himself. "Dean! Bobby's alive! He just woke up and the heart monitor starting pumping regularly." He gave Dean a quick hug before pulling away. "It's like a miracle, or something!" Before Dean could utter a single syllable, Sam had already run back into the hospital.

Dean stood there dumbfounded as a warm feeling swelled through his body.

Cas had kept his promise. He told Dean he would redeem himself.

That dumb son of a bitch, Dean thought to himself while throwing Cas' jacket on his shoulder. He really came through on that promise and outdid himself.

Dean closed his eyes. He saw bright blue eyes in his mind. He smiled.

Love never really did die.


End file.
